All you can find on the internet, all those articles on relationships – mostly are opinions. Even those with statistics… who checks them anyway? Some statistics could be wrong and gathered by nonprofessionals, some may be faked as this has happened before in every age and nation. Opinions may be wrong or may be very good. Some may be good to us, some – to others except for us.
If you’re a woman and you’ll search on the internet about ways how to please your man, you may come across with one big dilemma – to be yourself or not be. Because all those articles basically are teaching women how to please their men but not themselves.
You may say, my article is the same. I’m only writing another opinion and write about the specific group of men – engineers, “smart pants”, geeks so you may ask what I could know about the rest of the men. Yes, maybe I know nothing, or maybe I know indeed a lot because instead of trying to read your boyfriend’s mind as many girls do, or browsing internet protractedly, or asking your friends how they act in certain situations in their love life, doesn’t get you anywhere.
THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE IN RELATIONSHIPS IS TO TALK OPENLY ABOUT PROBLEMS. Really, that’s the basics. The corner of everything. The eggs in the omelet.
ASK if you don’t know WHAT IS HAPPENING with your boyfriend or WHAT HE WANTS. If he doesn’t reply to you immediately – wait. Then ask again. Still no response after day or two, or worse – after a week or month? Consider looking for your other half somewhere else. Only the dead remains silence, normal people talk regularly.
Personally, I do ask my boyfriend and talk to him freely a lot and we talk about all issues, so I rarely look for something on the internet in “how to please”, “how to talk” or in “how to be” categories. (I mostly look for DIY gifts ideas, if to be honest). Such articles remind me of my one friend, she always goes with this “make a man work for you” attitude. You know, those lady barracudas, who read such stuff and uses against the men. And I think there is just too much of “to-do-what-you-don‘t like, but makes your man happy egocentric” lists. And it seems that you need almost to serve him, to make him the priority in your life and nothing else, but it shouldn‘t be like that. All those points starts with „be“, “make him” or “do this”. Never with “Do you ever asked your boyfriend if he likes…. and if yes, then maybe if you like it also, you both could…” Never. And all the amount of points! 50 or even 100 and counting ways to please your man! WHAT?! Everything is way simpler than is written in those never-ending articles from self-proclaimed love gurus.
Indeed, I will not preach you and I will not teach you how to please your man. I will not encourage you to change who you are. No. I just share with you some ideas about ways how I please my man. You may try this, or your may not, but these ways are simple and surely doesn’t force you to do anything you don’t want. Everything is very simple.
1. Words can demolish the mountains.
As I mentioned before, communication is the cause and solution for everything. Talk, ask and be sure to listen to what he says too. After that – analyze and compare, find the positive ways, in arguments – compromises. That’s all. No more secrets and mysteries.
• say compliments, appreciations (only when I really mean to);
• ask opinion especially about things he knows the best;
• talk about happy things, other people’s lucky relationships and how we are happy too (or even happier).
Even when he says he doesn’t like to receive gifts, (but in my opinion people just says so because they want to look very polite and not greedy) I think you all girls and women have some hobby where you make something. Or have an extra money, or else. Or just like to give gifts like I do. I like to make and give a lot. I could do that all year long. SK’Avius would be buried by gifts if I would have a lot of time and materials.
My ultimate gifts ideas:
• Little love notes;
• Coupons (ideas for coupons: free hugs, kisses for a half hour, be your maid for a day and etc.);
• Socks (yes, them, but I will never gonna to knit another one, too difficult and too much hassle for a crochet lover like me);
• Boxes for screws;
• Simple stuff that he uses a lot, like keychain:
Not all women like to do this because it’s disgusting for them to touch their boyfriend’s or husband’s back. I heard women say: “Oh, no, I would never do a massage to him, he has so hairy back!” or uses some other excuses. Pure weirdos. It’s okay to be his girlfriend, kiss him, to be intimate with him, touch him elsewhere, BUT not to massage his back. Oh, no, not the back! One more time – WHAAAT?! Where the logic has gone?
My engineer loves the massage and after working all day with the computer he craves for massage very much. If I am tired then of course he understands this and even suggests massage for me, but we are not constrained about each other’s body, oh no. Actually, massage is very good for:
• Reducing or eliminating pain;
• Improving joint mobility;
• Improving circulation;
• Improving lymphatic drainage;
• Reducing muscular tension.
I suggest you read more about massage and all of its advantages here.
4. Help him with his life.
I’m not talking about cleaning his laundry, cooking and another home job. I’m talking about helping with his life and even with his work. I’m trying to help SK’Avius as much as I can with managing our site, translating his words into English language and other many little fairy godmother’s simple but important tasks too. He also helps me with my life a lot. If you can’t help him with an actual job, you can always give an advice, your opinion or just support word… or bear hug.
Now, guess, which food is the best for the brain work? I mostly offer to SK’Avius some fish, nuts, and broccoli. Since my lovely engineer loves spaghetti, everything that goes with pasta very much, the best recipe for him to make would be:
For the sauce:
1. Cut carrots and onions in small pieces, cook in pan with hot oil;
2. Boil broccoli, then put it in the pan where carrots and onions are almost done;
(in this stage you can add some boiled bean sprouts or other vegetables you like);
+ add salt, pepper, butter and some tomato sauce if you want.
After you boil spaghetti, put the sauce on it. Such dish could be warmed up for next day, it doesn’t stick in one piece.
6. Herbs and health.
Best herbs for people working with their sharpest weapon – brain are shown in pictures below. Yes, there are some new articles about ginkgo that proofs it doesn’t cure dementia and barely helps those who don’t have any mental problems, still, SK’Avius drinks ginkgo leaves tea and he says it’s helping him to focus, to think more clearly because ginkgo definitely do helps central nervous system.
My garden also contains sage (improves memory) and thyme (good for brain work, also it’s exclusively men’s herb). It’s a matter of taste but sage and thyme are tasty to drink and could be part of our breakfast, dinner or supper.
7. Forced sleep.
Sounds despotic, but it’s a necessary evil. My engineer just doesn’t know when he needs to stop working sometimes, so I just put him to sleep by using every method that works at the exact moment. The best methods are the most naughty once, he he. P.S. He thanks me later, trust me.
8. Fun. Crazy.
We all are different. Some of us are barely talking with strangers, going into cinemas, scuba diving, sleeping at night, having pets, others – rocking, falling from the plains, talking nonstop and driving others insane. Still, I think a lot of things connects us. For example – fun. The most grumpy person in his dreams is happy, free, having fun and… going crazy. I think we all should bring fun, outgouingness and crazyness in our relationship even in small dozes. Sad moments happens, but then again the Sun rises.
Having fun with your loved one is the most revival thing.
So for now,
Be good and good luck!