This painting represents very dark period in my life. I painted it when I had stomach problems and I was very sick. So, yes, my emotional condition contributed to this work the most.
Actually, “Dark reflections of life” is more poster then a painting. I wanted to paint something different, something that would explain itself, but there is still a lot of needs to be said. (However, I will leave some things to your imagination).
It’s made in: 2014/07/13.
Materials: paper (A3 format), various colors gel pens, gouache.
• In the left corner above – Stiprybės medis (Tree of Strength). It’s the thing that I needed the most at that time. To be strong. To be adamant. I also like to paint trees. I think they have mystical, ancient, inexhaustible meaning. I would paint them until the last day of my life. Tree of strength in the painting/poster is so strong that it holds the Sun and banishes the dark clouds.
• On the top of the head of the pale woman (allegedly she should be me) there is notes: Nemiga, Silpnumas, Skausmas, Panika (insomnia, weakness, pain, panic) – I guess these symptoms follows all the patients. And it’s always on the top of your head, is it not?
• Forehead – Liga (disease).
• Under the red lips line (lips painted like cardiogram line) – Tyrimai… Kraujas… (Tests… Blood…) – another reality of patients. And it doesn’t matter how much you’ll take them or you’ll go through the blood tests, procedures, you’ll never get used to it.
• On the shoulder – Ji man neleis pasveikti… (It [disease] will not let me recover…)
• On the arm there is syringe-look-alike-snake. On it there is three notes: Vaistai? Nuodai? Šalutinis poveikis… (Cure? Poison? Side effects…) And… who really knows which is which? Every tablet you take destroys, disturbs some other part in your body.
• Under the pale woman there is yellow skull. I found interesting fact about yellow color – if yellow is overused, it can have a disturbing effect. For example, it is a proven fact that babies cry more in rooms painted yellow. Too much yellow causes loss of focus and makes it hard to complete a task.” So I painted skull in very strong color, I thought that it would be ideal color for famine.
On the skull’s forehead – Badas (Famine), on it’s right cheek – Jis manęs nepamaitins… (It [famine] will not feed me). This line represents not the real famine. But the words “famine”, “hungry” and “not full” always gets in the head of those who gets stomach problems. What to eat? What not to eat? And also, sometimes you eat properly and then stomach says “NO!”. In such moment you need to rethink everything, not only your ration, but your stress triggers, rest time. All your life philosophy.
Centipede underneath the skull symbolizes speed of how fast you can sink into very sinister game with yourself if you’re not taking your body’s warnings seriously.
• In the middle of the painting, above is the Moon, under it – Amžina naktis (Eternal night). An there is two ladders going from it to the Kalėjimas (note above the cross, means Prison). Under the ladders: Pabėgti… and Pakilti aukštyn! (Escape, Rise up!). But there is no solution in it. You either get on the Moon where is the eternal night or you’ll stuck in the stony prison. So, you can surrender to your disease and wait for the death in the prison – your body, or you can wrestle with your sickness but it reminds the eternal night… sometimes with small sunrises.
• You can also see a heart in the panting. It’s in the ancient golden Egyptian pitcher. Many red thorn berries grows from the heart. It symbolizes the will, passion to live. It shows that the heart is still alive, with little spikes for the weapon… but under the pitcher with the heart there is labyrinth – Pasiklydusi ([She’s] lost), and it pulls the heart down into the ground.
In the future I’ll show more of my works,
But for now…
Be good and good luck!